Presentations

I would like to say that Garrett's presentation today was very interesting. I realized now that The professor had been giving hints (at least I think) about the retelling of Jesus in Alyosha. I remember one class we talked about the last supper and how Alyosha told the boys to come back to the rock to remember the boy. Perhaps he was hoping we would see this earlier?

His theory of smerdykov was shocking and I can see why he would think that, but to me he was more like Judas. After all Judas and him both killed themselves(by hanging might I add).

I will have to read the Brothers Karamazov again, I feel like the connections of all the stories are slowly starting to make sense to me, especially the more I read the chapters of Father Zosimas life.

Well on another note I wish I would have had more time to write my paper, the ideas that I wanted to talk about I did. But I wanted to express it better. It seemed no matter how many drafts I had, I was still having a problem connecting all the ideas. I will still write about this book and perhaps one day I will be able to express my thoughts clearly.

My paper

The Brothers Karamazov is the most complex and thought provoking book I have ever read. I was really drawn to the idea and complexity of suffering thru out the book. Smerdykov suffered his whole life, knowing he was a bastard child and having epilepsy seizures. The way he handled his suffering, turned him into a murderer. The Karamazov curse of sensuality drove Fyodor and Dmitri to a life of suffering. The book showed me how spiteful and hopeless people really are without a religion to guide them. Ivan’s lack of understanding love drove him to insanity, and I thought it was really interesting how the characters took shape as we learned more about their back stories and suffering. Each one of the brothers were orphans and had the same upbringing, but they came out entirely different people. When we learn more about how the characters had suffered and the suffering they had seen, we see why they think the way they do. Because of the suffering of little children that Ivan had read about or seen he refuses his “ticket” with God. He rejects the world that God has allowed men to create. He wants out of a religion that allows all this suffering to mankind. Ivan later goes insane, we learn at the end of the book. Without any hope that this suffering is fleeting he literally loses it. Alyosha is on the opposite spectrum; he sees all the suffering in everyone’s life and tries to make a difference. The book gives several examples, but the one that sticks with me the most, is the little boy who dies. Alyosha rallies the all the school children together to help ease the suffering of the little Ilyusha and the boy’s father.
Dmitri has also been talked about as being the hero in this book by this class. We know at the end of the book the little boy Kolya says he wants to be just like Dmitri when he grows up. Dmitri we know didn’t kill his father but all the evidence points to him. He is convicted and is sentenced to work in Siberia at a hard labor camp. Because of the way Dmitri handled the news of all the suffering that was going to come his way he is heroic. It would take guts to take punishment the way Dmitri did. Dmitri sacrificed himself for truth and justice; he let his name be disgraced for the betterment of mankind.

Grushenka was a very complex woman she suffered because of a lover who left her. She lets that shape her into the women she was in the book; she flirts and lead Fyodor and Dmitri to believe they both have a chance, because of what her suffering had taught her about men. All is suffering and all is fleeting, but Grushenka learned the last part of this too late. She admits her guilt in the murder of Fyodor, if only she had been faithful to one Karamazov and learned to let go of her previous suffering, perhaps the death of the father wouldn’t have happened.


The story we read about of the philanthropist is a great example of how suffering shapes lives. The philanthropist suffered a broken heart from the lady he loved; her heart belonged to another. So he decides to murder the women who caused his pain. In the book he says” I shall atone for my crime with my secret suffering”. He was not able to live life with all the guilt, he talks to Father Zosima about the guilt he feels when he has children. He can’t bear the thought of giving life when he has taken life. This would suggest to me that as a result his children suffered with a bad relationship with their father. The philanthropist sufferer d for fourteen years with the guilt of the murder, he was faced with two decisions. One to do the right thing, confess and end his suffering, or two to keep living with the suffering quietly. How he handled his suffering was very brave in the end, he confessed to the crime and his suffering was fleeting. I wonder how his life would have been different if he would have read the story of Lot’s wife. Would he have been able to live a life without suffering if he knew to keep looking forward in life? All is suffering and all is fleeting. I think we can easily understand all is suffering, but the all is fleeting seems to come too late to most of us.

In the last part of this class we have read Hamlet and talked briefly about Job. Father Zosima also talks about Job in the brothers Karamazov. So I re-read to story of Job and was blown away. He suffered more than we ever will, and the way he handled his suffering was superhuman; or I would call it heroic .He lost all of his children and his home and livestock. Satan did this because he thought that Job would curse God. Job passed Satan’s test and was blessed with twice as much. Job showed how we handle suffering is very important in our lives. Suffering has a way of changing a person for better or for worse. I think Dostoevsky gave beautiful examples of this in his book.
While researching for this paper and reading more of Father Zosimas chapter, one cannot ignore the story of Jesus. If Jesus hadn’t handled suffering the way he did, if he hadn’t gone through with being crucified then the religion we know today as Christianity would not exist. He is a great example of how you handle suffering affects more than just yourself. Father Zosima says in the book “if evil deeds of men sadden you too greatly and arouse in you an anger you cannot overcome and fills you with desire to wreak vengeance on the evil doers- fear this feeling cause you too are responsible for the evil deeds of all men.”
For how we handle suffering affects more than just ourselves, we can’t have peace till we learn that suffering is fleeting and that is what the characters in the Brothers Karamazov taught me. We are all responsible for how we handle suffering. Will we allow it to make us heroes? Or instead will we give in and live selfishly like Fyodor? The fact that knowing your suffering is fleeting is what will get you through your suffering. In the end of the book we realized how everyone had guilt in the murder of the father. For we too are responsible for the deeds of evil men, and how we handle suffering is the example we lay out for those men.So what I have learned is this, love the moment. Flowers can grow out of dark moments. Therefore each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed. And knowing that suffering is fleeting is what makes it possible to live in the moment. Knowing that suffering is fleeting is what gives mankind sanity and how we handle suffering is what makes heroes out of drunks, and monks out of orphans. So when something is taken away from you, like a father perhaps, it doesn’t happen to make you suffer. It could be so that something else great could come into your life or so that you might loosen your grip on that thing so you can grab onto something better. This will not happen though unless you understand that suffering is fleeting, and you learn to always look forward

The last blog(besides my paper)

In this class I have learned not only about books and mythology, but a lot about life. I know the story about Lot's wife is so simple but I have never understood why it was in the bible. Reading it in the class I learned the importance to always look forward, that is a lesson that I can only hope to achieve. It is so easy to get caught up in the past without looking forward. The Brothers Karamazov taught me the importance of suffering. Each character in the book had a story of suffering to tell.I learned that we are all responsible for each other. Wow, what a burden that puts on my chest, I guess Gandhi was on to something when you said you must be the change you want in the world. So the difference this class has made in my life is cosmic. I know this is going to sound cheesy but perhaps the point to the story is, that you might just be a better person. Because how do you know what you think till you see what you say? I want to read other peoples thoughts so I can know what I think.

The Love Journal

So back to the assignment of listening in on a man and a women's conversation, I listened to my parents talking the other day. I realized they do not hear what the other person is saying and they end up talking in circles or just repeating the same thing over and over.
In my short time in my life I have learned that a major part of relationships is communication. I have several siblings (8 to be exact) and I think that they all have a problem identifying what they want in life. A couple years ago my boyfriend at the time and I started to keep a "love journal" . We lived in separate towns and we didn't have the time to be on the cell phone. So we would write in the book and then the next time we saw each other we would switch. I learned more about myself and my then boyfriend from that journal then I could have from just talking to him on the phone. There is something intimate about writing, your care of grammar and how people perceive you go out the window. So the saying how do you know what you think until you see what you say, is really just very beautiful. I am going to encourage all my siblings to start keeping a journal

classes this past week.

As much as I am dreaded giving my personal presentation tomorrow I must say that I have enjoyed everyones presentations so far. I had never even thought of the little boy as the hero in The Brother Karamazov before yesterday. I would like to thank everyone for the guts that they have had for overcoming their fears and letting me and the whole class hear their thoughts. The way this class has been set up, allowed me to learn more than most classes, not just from my professor but from my peers.

Notecards

I feel like the bashing that is going on is very disrespectful. All groups used some form of note cards or paper. I think it showed the work that went into the pre-planning. Note cards are a great way to remember what you want to say and keep you on topic. Lets just be respectful of each other and encourage each other to learn. This bashing reminds me of mean girls. And sorry if our presentation bored anyone, you are entitled to your own opinion.

Hats off to all the presentations I enjoyed them all.

Class Today

I had a good time at class today. I hope you guys check out the pictures I am pretty sure I got one of Garret picking his nose:) I liked both presentations, they were creative and fun.
Group one
It was hilarious to hear them argue and get off of the topic.They brought up some good arguments that we didn't have time to discuss in class. I thought they picked a good topic to spend more time on.

Group 4
Ok I am not going to lie I was looking forward to seeing what Garrett and the group came up with. I was imagining a psychedelic experience with neon colors and loud music. I was not disappointed good job on the creativity, it was very amusing. See everyone on Wednesday.

So Last week I went to Ted's restaurant for dinner. I ordered a juicy hamburger with cheese, guacamole and jalapenos, only to my dismay I received a plain hamburger with a side of cottage cheese, yuck not quite the same. To me this is what a spark note is, its like ordering a juicy cheeseburger and getting a plain hamburger.You get the "meat" of the story but you do not receive the juicy extras. I hope everyone had a chance to finish the Brothers K. You want all this juiciness, no one likes diets.

Thesis

So the Thesis for my brothers Karamazov paper is (drum roll please) how suffering helped shape the characters in the book. I have been working on my paper and that seems to be the direction it is going. I just thught it was so neat how we have talked about suffering and talked about the book of Job, Hamlet, and the Brothers Karamazov and we have seen how it affected people very differently.

I know last year when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, each one of her nine kids reacted differently. And during my Mothers treatments it was my Dad who took it even harder than my Mom. So I would like to further talk about this in my paper.

Reading vs Traveling

Ok so I have had the opportunity to travel, and it is absolutely amazing. Saying that though, I do see professors point about not experiencing or absorbing when you travel.

One of my fondest memories is of kite surfing in Holland in a small town. Nothing could ever describe the feeling of being airborne thanks to a giant kite. Before I went surfing I read about it, the adrenaline rush, what to expect your first time, and about the technique. The experience far exceeding what I had imagined it to. Some things need to be seen firsthand and experienced.

I would say each person learns something different from each experience and feels something different. I have learned a great deal from traveling.

The point I do see from the professor is this. I remember seeing so much beautiful art work in the Louvre and buildings thru- out all the cities, there was too much for me too absorb and take in. I do regret that I didn't read more about the cities and artwork I was going to see. Things are more memorable when they have a story. So I do not claim a side on this one, but instead I see the benefit of both.

The struggle between atheism and religion in this book is fascinating...... and well, very challenging to say the least. I am still working on Father Zosima and Ivan's viewpoints of God.. This blog is a work in progress...

suffering

I finished reading Brothers Karamazov, over spring break. I just finished re-reading the chapter Rebellion. Ivan brings up a very deep and good questions in this chapter. After reading the chapter I found myself deep in thought. Why can human beings be so artfully cruel? We have been talking about suffering in this class, which in my personal opinion is the greatest character building emotion. I myself have had some personal suffering, but I have learned the most from watching people suffer. Ivan tells several stories of children suffering, and from those stories he tells us ( the readers ) he rejects God.

This passage of the book made me come to a different conclusion. All is suffering and all is fleeting, but what makes is fleeting? For most it is the believe in God or gods that makes the suffering bearable, the little girl in the outhouse crying out to Jesus, Job in the bible, his belief in God made his suffering bearable. So we must too have religion in our life just to make the suffering bearble.